Bottles of Regrets
by jelspasi
Summary: Eight years since their relationship ended, Christian received a phone call from Ana, one call that brought him to his knees. She said: "Remember the baby you told me to get rid of? Well, I kept him. His name's Teddy. He's six . . . and he has cancer. NO BDSM.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

If my chest is the ocean and my heart is the ship, he was the anchor who dragged it down to the bottom of the sea. My eyes are staining red and the tears are flowing freely. My heart aches, everything feels different.

He is different.

His hands rake through his hair and the veins so visible at the sides of his neck. He looked as though the world ended when in fact, it just began.

Christian's words were spiteful, "What do you mean you're pregnant?"

"I-I'm pregnant, two months pregnant. We're gonna have a baby," my lips quivered, because I'm too scared.

He shook his head over and over again. We're inside his office and he was cussing at the top of his chest.

At eighteen, Christian already met his father and he has an office of his own. I naively said, "But we can go through this, right? We can go through this together. Christian, you already have a job and after I give birth, I'll make myself useful. I'll have a job too—"

"FUCK! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT . . . THAT THING!"

Then all my hopefulness disappeared. More tears fell as I can't accept the fact that he didn't want anything to do with me . . . and our baby.

"Fuck my life!" He screamed angrily throwing everything around. From the laptop to the lamp, Christian just threw everything. I flinched from time and time again. He just lost it before me. I can't help but feel like I've ruined his life.

I cried out, "Christian, you know we made this together. I—"

That's when he killed me. He shot a glare at me and accused, "You did it on purpose. You decided to get pregnant to tie me with you? You want to get pregnant now that I discovered that my father is rich."

He laughed sarcastically and sighed.

I was speechless. How could he do this? I was with him when he had nothing. How could he change so much now that his father came to the picture?

This isn't the life I planned out. I wanted to earn a bachelor's degree. At eighteen, I didn't plan on being a mother. I didn't want this, but this baby a blessing. There's a life growing inside of me and it's because I created this with the love of my life. I cannot let this baby go.

Before I could speak, he threw thousands of the dollars at my face and I never felt so degraded.

"Get rid of that thing. Get rid of that thing inside of you. That money would be enough."

With those words, he walked out of his office. After the door slammed, I knelt down the ground and sobbed out loud.

I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry.

_From now on, I'll be your mommy and daddy. _

**From: Jels**

**Welcome to my new story. **

**Chapter 1 is coming up.**

**Thoughts?**

**Thankies! **


	2. Two Different Lives

Chapter 1

**Two Different Lives**

_Eight Years Later . . ._

**Seattle, Washington**

"Mr. Grey, here goes your coffee," a very small trembling voice informs me. I do not bother to look at her. I am way too busy with my transactions. There are tons of emails that I need to respond too. Carrick will definitely go ballistic if I didn't do my job right.

I am not here not just to be a COO at 26 years old. I am here to be a CEO. I am here to prove that I may be his bastard, but I am the only one capable of being the company's next CEO. Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. will be spearheaded by yours truly and no one else.

The newly hired assistant placed the coffee on my table and I took a hold of it immediately and had a sip.

I swallowed it painfully and threw the cup on the ground, crashing into pieces—coffee spilled like it got hit by a storm.

"What the fuck was that, Mallory? It took you an hour to make a coffee and it tastes like shit! You are useless!"

She was trembling, and it didn't take long for her to cry. It's just March and I've already had ten assistants. She's only been here for two days and she already starts to cry? How pathetic can she get?

Without further ado I said, "You're fired!"

"B-but Sir—"

"Pick that up and leave," I was referring to the crushed cup of coffee. She can pick it up and leave.

"Darling, I'll be the one to pick it up. Go now, alright?" I rolled my eyes at that. It was Taylor, my bodyguard and driver. The assistant turned around and ran as if I attacked her personally. Well, it was a professional attack. She shouldn't take it too personally.

I was left with a very disappointed looking Taylor.

"You shouldn't have done that," I told him. The assistant should've learned her mistake.

He shook his head over and over again, "Christian, what have you become?"

That's when froze. I stared blankly at my laptop, my eyes showing no hint of emotion and my chest tightening.

I felt Taylor carefully pick the broken cup off the ground while I sat there like a ghost.

I turned my chair around and saw my reflection at the glass window. I was incredibly different compared to who I was. This stranger before me wore a thousand-dollar worth suit and his hair was perfectly groomed by a personal salon expert. He had a golden watch in his wrist. He seemed to have everything but . . . he's empty.

Shaking my head, I stood up from my seat and helped Taylor clean the mess I made.

"I apologize, Taylor. I'm all stressed out and—"

"Christian, you and I both know that I'm not the one you have to apologize to."

I rolled my eyes. There's no way in hell that I'll apologize to an assistant. Then that's when it further sinked in: What have I become?

-page break-

Whenever I do something right, Carrick would just nod and tell me that I must keep it up. But when I do something wrong, it's like the whole world's about to end. That's why I cannot fail at what I do. I must be able to do my best to make things work. I cannot fucking fail at anything now. I have so much to prove to my boss . . . my father.

I grew up without my father, so it was a relief when I found him.

Without him, I wouldn't have anything at all. At my age of 26, I am already the COO of GEHI and I am very confident that I will be a CEO. I already have a girlfriend. She's Gia Matteo, a recommendation by Dad. We are not in love. How could I be in love with a self-absorbed bitch? I am only dating her because her father owns the highest earning business in Italy and Carrick told me that it would be a great investment.

A great investment good sex equals pleasure.

"Let's go, Sir," Taylor opened the door of the Mercedes Benz and I got in the backseat.

The day's over now and I'll be back at Escala, my home.

I laughed humorlessly at that. Escala is shit and it doesn't feel like home. I only drink there. I fall asleep when I'm too intoxicated.

Well, at least Gia's not there. She's a supermodel and now she's in Namibia for a photoshoot. I don't know where the fuck that is but at least she's not around. She's a nuisance. If it weren't for the money, I would've fucked another bitch. Well, I already did . . . more than once and she doesn't have to know.

I'm fucking disgusting.

My eyes darted to the window and I saw a little girl holding the hand of her father. These images of a family kept flashing by the speed of Taylor's drive: the couple pushing a stroller on the street, a little girl being cradled by her father, and kids just laughing with their parents.

My heart clenched as I thought her . . . of Ana.

I felt the heat in my eyes. I felt water threatening to come out. I thought back of eight years ago when I treated her like shit. She was pregnant, and I was in the dark and fuck! I hurt her! I fucking hurt her!

The guilt just consumed me. The anger couldn't be solved. The pain that I held inside was too much to handle. How could I ever do that? How could I hurt the only girl I love?

I laughed humorlessly but this time out loud.

Taylor asked, "Are you okay, Christian?"

"It's gonna be another shitty drunken night," I replied, and I could tell his eyes were sad.

The truth is I haven't been okay. When I came back to my senses eight years ago, I searched for Ana. I searched for her, but she was nowhere to be found. I hired a private investigator and he told me that Ana must have fled the country since they couldn't find any data about her.

The guilt crashed in once more and it's murdering me. That baby was aborted, and I couldn't blame anyone but me. Ana must be happy now with another man in another country. I closed my eyes and felt the pain.

Wherever she's now, I hope she's happy.

I hope she isn't living life like I am.

-page break-

**Atlanta, Georgia**

Five minutes more and I can leave work. Each tick of the clock is intimidating. It's almost as if it's causing me to feel more anxious than I already am.

I just sat down and thought of things.

At the age of 26, I never imagined life to be this way. I foresaw myself as someone who is a successful journalist, but I didn't even get a chance to earn a journalism degree. I was alone raising a child.

I don't regret it though. Teddy Steele is the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't imagine my life without my son. Without him, I would be so lost that I wouldn't know where to go. Yes, this isn't the life I imagined to be living, but it's so much better. My son is worth all the golds that I could have.

But your greatest love could bring you your greatest pain. And I'm in great pain.

It's been a year in a half since Teddy was diagnosed with cancer. His lymph nodes had abnormality and it didn't take long before the doctors identified his illness. When I found out, I was destroyed. I couldn't get out of bed for days. All I did was blame God and blame everybody for this messed up life.

If God had a heart, then how could he let this happen to my son?

I just lost faith. I just lost it. First, I had a very messy childhood. Second, my son's sperm donor (he doesn't deserve to be called a father) treated me like trash, and third, my son, the only one I'll ever love is suffering in the hospital and might be gone soon.

How horrible can it get?

I felt the tears threatening again. For a year and a half, I've been staying strong for my son when all I wanted to do was break down and beg God to take his pain away. I'll go through his pain. I'll go through it in every heartbeat. However painful it may be. While I'm here fearing for the life of my son, Christian's taking over the world by storm. Money, power, supermodel girlfriend, yes, he's the worst father to ever exist.

I looked up at the clock and it's already 7 p.m. It's time to go home. I said goodbye to Mrs. Raffles and she gave me a packed of vegetable soup for Teddy.

She loves my son. Nobody can't love my son. He's an angel.

I took the bus on the way home and by home, it is the hospital for children with cancer. As I rested on the seat, I received a text message from Jose who gave me an update that Teddy is okay.

Jose is my boyfriend. Well, he was my bestfiend back in high school and Christian was often jealous of him. He would cause our fights. But when Christian left, he took his place acting as Teddy's father. Of course, Teddy knows that he is not his father and I could tell that Teddy doesn't love him that much. Jose and I got together two years ago since I thought it would be convenient since he loved my son and he's my best friend.

I was living a simple yet stable life . . . until my son got sick.

After the thirty-minute long bus ride, I finally arrived at the hospital and I couldn't wait to tell Teddy that he has a vegetable soup from his favorite Mrs. Raffles.

"Knock! Knock!" I said as I opened the door.

"Mommy!" My son squealed.

It broke my heart to see him this way. He should be going to school having a normal life. But he's here, lost so much weight, needles pointed again and again, and extremely pale. He's wearing the grey knitted bonnet and he looked innocent with those grey eyes . . . his grey eyes.

"Guess who has a vegetable soup from Mrs. Raffles?"

"Yeheyyyyy!"

I prepared the vegetable soup for him and asked him about his day. Jose was the one who answered since Teddy's too busy savoring the soup.

"Teddy's doing good. He didn't vomit. That makes our day good. But yeah, he's still sad about Ronnie," Jose answered.

I grimaced at that. I wish Teddy wouldn't get attached to the kids here in the cancer center. One minute they're playing and talking about their own worlds and the next, one of them is dead. Teddy grieved for Ronnie. They were so close.

"I have to go, Darling." It's pretty convenient for me to be with Jose since he works night shift as a night photographer while I work in the day as an assistant head library as one of Atlanta's biggest public library.

"Thank you, Jose," I told him before kissing his cheek. He said goodbye to Teddy and my son enthusiastically said goodbye.

"Love you," he told us but didn't even let us respond as he already walked out of the door.

My attention shifted to my son, "Now how's Mommy's little angel?"

He groaned, "Mommy, I'm a big boy now."

I just laughed at that. But deep down inside, I was scared. Will I ever see him as a big boy?

I believe that God exists. I have always been a firm believer. But if he does exist then I can conclude that he is not a good God. If he has a heart, then why would he let this happen to my little boy?

What amazes me though is that Teddy continually prays every single night. He doesn't let me hear his prayers though. He said that it's just for him and God, a secret conversation.

Tonight, however, is a different story.

"Mommy, let's pray?"

"Okay," I said.

He knelt down his bed while I just sat by his side. As he prayed, I stared at his reverent face.

My son prayed, "Dear God, thank you for the vegetable soup. Thank you for the TV. Thank you for the hospital doctors and nurses who take care of me. Thank you because I have my Mommy. Thank you because I have Uncle Jose. I ask for a new toy. I ask to get healed and I ask to meet my real father. I love him, and I want to play soccer with him before I die. Amen."

He gave me a small kiss on the cheek before falling asleep.

I couldn't stop staring at him. He told me that his prayers are the same so that means that he is yearning for Christian every night. He longs to meet his real father. I immediately turn bitter when he says the words, 'before I die'. My kid won't die, right? That will not happen. I mean, it can't happen.

"Teddy? Are you still awake?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you always pray about meeting your real father?"

"Everynight"

And I knew what I had to do. I had to even though it will break me in two.

**From: Jels**

**Thank you for reading my work. I am writing this story as I have been so emotional. What are your thoughts about the first chapter of my fic?**

**Thankies. **


	3. The Future We Planned

**Chapter 2**

**The Future We Planned **

_Nine Years Ago . . ._

**Spokane, Washington**

"Ana, I'm coming," Christian panted. He was so deep inside of me and I felt him wholly. He was completing me in every single way. He was around me, beside me, behind me, and inside me.

"Christian! Ugh!" I moaned as he plunged deeper and deeper until he withdrew and spilled his cum on the lower part of my navel. He looked so beautiful, copper hair sweaty looking like dews coming out of the grass. He took a tissue from his bag and wiped his hot cum off me.

I was breathing rapidly and he was too. He lied next to me and wrapped me in his strong arms. He kissed my face again and again, and it felt like feathers in hot summer days.

Christian lives with his alcoholic of a mom who rants about his father most of the time. Whenever I came by their house, she would always nag. In my house, Dad's very strict. He may not be the best provider but I still respect him. He clearly was so uptight especially when it came to Christian.

That brought us here to our secret place—the motel. It's pretty cheap and though we're minors, the worker didn't mind letting us in. He's Christian's friend. Well, I know what we're doing is wrong. We're just seventeen but we are in love.

I turned to look at him and realized that it's really possible to be more in love than I already am. Christian's so gorgeous and he's mine.

That's when I placed myself on top of him and kissed his face over and over again. My lips press against his cheeks, his lips, and finally his eyes. I know he likes it. I know he likes it so much.

"I love it when you kiss my eyes."

With that, I kissed his eyes one more time.

Then, our lips pressed against together. What started out as a gentle innocent kiss turned into something more when his tongue begged for entrance. It didn't take long before I sat on his manhood and slid all the way down, feeling him fill me once more. I bounced up and down.

He gripped my hips and patterned the rhythm with me. We complimented each other. We just do. Our bodies and our hearts just speak for each other.

He thrusts up and up, hitting me in the perfect spot. I cried out in pleasure as I came—I came spontaneously. It didn't take long before he gently pushed me off him so he could release his cum. Just like what he did, I grabbed the tissue paper to rub it off him.

He kissed me one more time before pulling me in to cuddle.

When we could finally speak after breathing briskly, I told him, "Christian, where will we be five years from now?"

He thought deeply before saying, "I don't really know. But what I'm sure about is that I'll have enough to provide for you and I'll be with you. I will always be with you, my love. Ana, I love you so much."

"I love you too."

We kissed again and the angelic peck escalated. Before I knew it, he was back inside of me. Our lips molded solidly, moving in sync and as did our bodies.

And I hold on to him. I hold on to the future we planned.

_Present Day . . ._

**Seattle, Washington**

Escala's the same: cold, quiet, and empty. It's fairly synonymous to this organ trapped between my ribs and located beneath my chest. I took my coat off and loosed my tie. I immediately got a glass from my cupboard and took a bottle of vodka too.

This keeps me going up night. Vodka listens to my frustrations and hears me cry and laugh at the same time in the middle of the night. And when I wake up, it's the worst. I got a fucking heavy hangover. Screw it! I'm messed up. But at least I got money, right? Unlike before when I had nothing in my pockets.

_But I had her . . ._

I shook my head and placed the bottle on the sink. I decided not to have a drink yet. I went upstairs to my room and opened my closet. Right behind my neatly folded comforters and duvets is a box I always kept. Right inside the box are things that I wanted to say when I rip my heart out.

Slowly opening the box, I found what I was looking for. It was the old photo of Ana and me. She was wearing shirt and jeans while I wore one too. We were obviously poor, but we were happy. She hugged me from behind as we both smiled at the camera. Her cheek rested against my shoulder and we were just two teenagers in love.

Looks like I'll stare at this all night while drinking vodka.

I closed the box but brought the photo with me. I went downstairs again and headed to the kitchen counter just where I left the bottle of vodka. I poured for one glass and I got pissed when my phone rang.

What the fuck?

Who interrupts me in the middle of this hour? I took my phone out from my pocket and my screen was flashing an unregistered number.

Well, this better be a fucking client or else I didn't drink my glass of vodka for nothing.

"Grey," I snapped.

"Christian," she whispered.

That whisper was enough to move the mountains inside my soul. The whisper of her tender voice moved the seas and sailed away the anger that I felt. My hands turned cold, my heart proved that it was still there as it was violently pounding. My knees were trembling. That's the effect of her whisper.

She spoke my name again, "Christian?"

This time I could sense the anger in her voice. Gone was the reverie when she uttered my name. All it conveyed now was the anger that she felt. I got no one else to blame but me.

I cleared my throat and stuttered, "A-ana, you-you called?"

She cleared her throat too but this time her voice was thick when she told me, "I am not calling you because I want to or because I miss you. In fact, I just want to bury you in the past, but I . . . need to talk to you."

I flinched at how venomous she sounded. "You need to talk to me?"

"I am not in Seattle so forgive me for saying this over the phone. I'm in Atlanta and I don't have money to come there. I'll just tell you this . . ."

There was a long pause in her voice. During that pause, my hand clenched into a fist and anger circulated all over my body. I wasn't drunk, but I was already red and ready to punch someone. What the fuck? She's in Georgia? How could that fucking happen? My private investigator told me that she fled out of the country. His last update was just this morning saying that Ana's living in Portugal.

That motherfucker! I grabbed the glass to take a sip of vodka but before I did, I heard Ana breathe so deep.

I heard her take a deep breath before she dropped the bomb, the deadliest kind of bomb, "Remember the baby you told me to get rid of? Well, I kept him. His name is Teddy. He's sick . . . and he has cancer."

I dropped the glass.

My heart dropped.

Everything in my world dropped.

I was . . . bewildered.

She continued, "I don't know if you care and I don't know if you still give a crap about us, but you can come to Georgia. Teddy wants to meet you and I can't deny him that." Without saying goodbye, she ended the call.

Then I was still frozen.

All I could think about was we have a child. She kept him. How could I ever think that she would listen to what I said? Ana's so much better than that. She . . . kept him. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye. We have a son. I have a son.

Then the pain struck me when I remembered what she said. My son has cancer. My son has fucking cancer. That's when all tears fell, and I threw the bottle of vodka to the side.

I have a child . . . and he is sick.

I didn't waste any of my time. I didn't even bother to call Taylor to drive me this late. Hell! I have two hands. I can drive on my own. I drove like a maniac on the way to Forrest Blake's house. He's the private investigator I hired for this. How could he fucking lie to me?

When I arrived in front of his house, I pounded on the door like a wild animal. "Fucking open this!" I was losing my shit! I have never been this angry in my whole life.

It didn't take long before he swung the door open. He wore a bathrobe and the young girl behind him only wore a lacey lingerie and she was winking at me like a whore.

"Are you drunk, Mr. Grey? Have you lost your mind?"

"No, you're the one who lost your mind!" I punched him on the cheek and he fell down the floor. The girl screamed in panic and I cared less about her. I bent down and pulled him by the collars of his bathrobe.

"Fucking tell me the truth, you prick! Why did you lie about Anastasia?!"

He looked at me coldly before he broke to a hysterical laugh. "Good riddance, you only got it now? I've been lying to you for eight years now and you believed me? You, stupid bastard!"

That's when I punched him multiple times and the girl just screamed in every hit I give this dirty old man.

He was already bleeding but he coughed and laughed humorlessly, "You paid me tons of money, but your father paid me triple just to lie to you about the girl's whereabouts."

And that ripped my chest open. I shook my head again and again. Carrick was in this?

I immediately stood up and headed upstairs. I trusted this man. I thought we were friends. Hell, I trusted everyone and what did I get? I got lies in return. I got lied to. Because I know this man so well, I know where his office is. I broke into it and messed everything up until I found Ana's folder and as soon as I opened it, I was ultimately crashed.

My chest was growling, and everything just fell apart. I screamed on top of my lungs.

I took the folder with me and punched Forrest one more time before getting into my car. I drove while the tears fell freely. A week after I blasted in front of Ana and stupidly and wrongfully asked her to abort the baby, I came back to my senses and realized how wrong I was. But when I came back to our hometown, Spokane, she wasn't there. I couldn't find her anywhere.

That's when Forrest came and apparently lied the whole fucking time!

I parked my car beside a tree, under a lamppost and I rested my forehead against the steering wheel as I sobbed. I wiped my tears away and decided to "man up" as what they called it.

I turned the light inside my car on and stared at the photos I have before me. There was Ana in Georgia, photo after photo she looked so gorgeous and when I stumbled upon a photo of her and the little boy, I completely lost it.

I cursed on top of my lungs.

But the only one I'm cursing is myself.

**From: Jels**

**What do you think?**

**Thankies! **


	4. Man Becomes a Father

**Chapter 3**

**Man Becomes a Father**

_Dawn . . ._

**Atlanta, Georgia**

While Teddy was sound asleep, I was pacing back and forth on the stretch bed. My heart pierced in so much anger when I heard Christian's voice. I don't even know how he sounded like. Is he repentant? Did he have any remorse? The truth is I don't really know him anymore.

I dialled Jose's number and he answered after the third ring.

"Babe, what's up?"

"Hey Jose, I know you're busy now but . . . I did something."

"Oh, what did you do?"

"I called Christian," as soon as I uttered those three words, Jose immediately grew silent. In the spaces where words were spoken, I could tell that there was tension. I could tell that he's trying not to lose it and yell at me or something.

Then I heard Jose finally reply, "You called him? Why the hell would you do that?!"

"Because Teddy—"

"Teddy? Teddy doesn't need him. You don't need him. If you need him, then what does that make me? A furniture? A hospital watcher?"

"Jose, please don't be like this," I pleaded. I didn't want him to think that i'm only using him. I love Jose but I am not in love with him. Still, I don't want him to get the wrong impression.

He snickered, "You know what? Ana, I am very disappointed in you. That man treated you like shit years ago and you still had the guts to contact him and tell him that you have a son?"

"Teddy prays for him every night and—"

"You know what you just did? You just gave up on your son! You just accepted the fact that he will die, so that's why you called his bastard of a father."

"Fuck you, Jose! How dare you?!"

"Truth hurts, Babe," he said before ending the call and I fought the urge not to throw the phone at the wall.

I know that Christian treated us like we were nothing, but it didn't erase the fact that Teddy feels incomplete without him. There will always be a missing half of Teddy.

Isn't that how it's supposed to be? You have two parents to complete who you are. He's half of me and half of Christian. And if he doesn't meet Christian then he will always search for the other half of him. I'll never let him live that way.

Getting up from my bed, I ambled my way to Teddy's. I lied next to him and wrapped him in my arms.

I whispered, "I don't know what I did, Baby. Mommy just wants you to meet your Daddy. If he doesn't want to meet you, then at least I can say that I did everything. I love you, my Teddy. Don't ever think that I'm giving up on you, that's why I called him. You will not die. You will not die, my love. Mommy will never let you die."

Teddy moved a little bit and he turned around to hug me.

Christian may have left me and Jose may be here by my side, but my real other half will always be my son. I may not have everything but I feel complete because I have him with me.

-page break-

_Morning_

**Atlanta, Georgia**

I didn't waste any of my time. Shit, I didn't even sleep last night. I just changed to new clothes. Just a button down shirt and slacks that aren't ironed. I look horrible: a man with dark circles under his eyes and a man whose reeking smell of the alcohol he drank last night. I was that man, the man who made a complete utterly disgusting mistake.

Taylor and I were inside my private jet as we waited to land in Atlanta. I wasn't myself. I used to look neat, never breaking a sweat, never leaving a hair strand misbehave, and never wearing my suit untidy. This time, I was a complete mess like my life.

"You've been anxious, Christian. What's gotten into you?"

Even before I met my father, Taylor and I already had a bond. I grew up with a verbally abusive mother and if it weren't for Taylor being our neighbour, I wouldn't have anything to eat. Hell, I wouldn't even survive if he wasn't living next to us. He was always there to remind me that I am not those words that my mother said:

_Bastard_

_ Useless_

_ Her biggest mistake_

With my shaking anxious voice, I told Taylor the truth, "Taylor, I have a son with Ana."

His eyes went wide and before he could even respond or build accusations about Ana, I immediately told him the embarrassing truth:

"When she told me she was pregnant eight years ago, I told her to get rid of it. Of course, I regretted my decision. I regretted. I fucking regretted! I hired a private investigator to search for her only to know that he was really my father's minion. They've been hiding her this whole time."

Taylor looked so shocked and that shock gradually turned into the deepest disappointment that he ever felt.

I expected him to snap violent words at me or to even punch me. I would gladly take his punch. I would gladly do so, but this was so much worse. He just looked down and became so silent.

"I'm sorry, Taylor," I whispered.

"Christian, you have to stop apologizing to me. You and I both know that I'm not the one you wronged."

I sighed in disappointment. If he's disappointed then I was too, maybe even more.

Taylor looked at me in the eye and said, "I am the one who saw how you grow up, grow strong, fall in love, and . . . change. You just have to prepare yourself when this plane lands, Christian because I know you won't come home to Seattle without your child and the mother of your child."

He proceeded to reading the newspaper while I hoped that his words are just words.

-page break-

We stood in front of the hospital and I was readying myself to get inside. I don't think my heart was ready yet. My eyes still felt the heat and my throat was getting dry. Damn it! How could I fucking act like a pussy?

"Why are we here, Christian?" Taylor's voice was still harsh.

I tried to hold the tears in when I told Taylor, "My son has cancer."

That was the exact moment Taylor's harsh eyes turned into mercy. Sadness was evident in his eyes and he looked as though I was the most pitiful man to ever exist. Damn it! I don't mind. I didn't have pride right now. This was all messed up.

"Let's get inside," Taylor guided me in the hospital.

We talked to the person in the entrance counter and she told us that Ana left her an instruction to inform about Teddy's room number.

If it weren't for Taylor by my side, I would never have the strength to walk anymore.

The place reeked of an unexplainable scent. It reminded me of medicine, sadness, grief, death. There were also bald kids running around and the nurses were trying their best to stop them. These are children who can't have a normal childhood and I couldn't imagine the pain I'll feel once I see my son in the same situation.

It didn't take long before we reached Teddy's room.

Here goes nothing. I knocked on the door and when it opened, I saw her.

She was the same gorgeous angel from day one. Her hair was shorter, shoulder length and there are dark circles under her eyes. Despite the tiny changes, she stays the same. She's beautiful, beyond beautiful.

"Ana," I whispered.

"Come inside," her voice was so cold that it made me wince.

One slow step. I took one slow step before I got inside the room. When my eyes found his small figure, I can't help but look away.

I saw just a glimpse of him. I saw him with an IV, head covered in a knitted in a bonnet, and a face so pale.

"I'm sorry," I said before running off.

I was running and running until I met the dead end of the hallway. I kicked the wall and just fell down the ground, I was breaking down and the people who passed by looked worried. Fuck it! This was so painful. I couldn't describe the pain. Every time I look at him, there's this pain. There's this guilt in me. A fucking regret that I let them go. I was breaking down, sobbing out loud.

Then I came face to face with a pair of shiny leather shoes.

I looked at Taylor who was staring at me with sympathy.

He sat right next to me and said, "Boy, I know it's difficult, but you have to face the consequence of your actions. Ana's already lost her faith in you. She just asked you to be here since she wants to fill the void in her son. She doesn't want you here because she believes in you. You have to be strong enough to prove that."

"I know, Taylor. I know. I just need a moment," I sniffled.

Taylor turned silent.

"Did you see his face, Taylor? He's suffering! He's fucking suffering and I can't do anything about it! Fuck it! I even wanted to kill him when Ana told me about him. You know what that makes me, Taylor? A dick! An asshole! The worst father! I don't even know if I deserve to be called a father."

"Boy, you can still do something. You can ease up the suffering. Make your son feel like you love him," Taylor advised.

I nodded. That's what I'll do. That's what I should have done a long time ago. I should have been a father to him and a helpmeet to Ana.

Taylor said, "I know exactly how you feel, Boy."

Despite it all, I still found the strength to laugh a little. It had been so long since he called me "Boy". It suddenly made me feel how awful I was because when I employed him as my bodyguard, I told him that he will only call me "Sir" or "Christian". I'm such a dick, right?

"I never really told you but I lost my son too. He died when his bicycle got rummaged by a truck. That's why when you met me, I was damn depressed. But when you and Ana came into my life and I treated you like my children, it's like I found my purpose again. I treated you like my children and I was fine."

In all the years we've been bonding with him, it's the first time Taylor truly opened up. He would often just stay quiet while Ana and I just act like two crazies inside his house. I could recall how he taught Ana the chords of the guitar and how he helped me cook so I can give Ana the perfect dinner date just inside his house.

Then it sank in. When Ana disappeared, he was affected by it too. He treated her like his own daughter. I can't fathom how selfish I was when I treated her like trash.

Then Taylor added, "When a man becomes a father and a partner to a woman, he just loses himself. One half to the woman and one half to his son. He gives it all. He does it all: to provide, to love, and to cherish. He becomes the strength of the family. It's not too late yet, Christian. You can still fix your family."

I stared at him incredulously.

He stood up and reached his hand out to me, "Get up there, Boy and let's meet your son. Let's meet your other half. Get up and be a father."

I took his hand and let him pull me up. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and guided me back to my son's room.

In that moment, I felt like I had a father and I am ready to be a father.

**From: Jels**

**I am overwhelmed by your responses. They truly ignite the passion I already have for this story.**

**Thankies and mind sharing your thoughts about this chapter? **


	5. The Photo of Us

**Chapter 4**

**The Photo of Us**

_Eight Years Ago . . ._

**Spokane, Washington**

"You piece of trash! Why are you even going to school, huh? You should work, you moron!" Ella said while lighting up her cigarette. She puffed three times before continuing her rant.

I just call her Ella even though she's my mother. A real mother wouldn't say such demonic words to me. This happens every day at breakfast. While I eat, she would rant about how I make her life a living hell, when the truth is it's the opposite. She makes my life a living hell.

"You loser! You dimwit! You are useless, you know that? What? Do you think I would be proud if you are going to graduate as valedictorian? Oh, come on! You will not be somebody! Just quit school and fucking work for me, okay? You pay the bills!"

I just ate breakfast while pretending I was deaf. I know that Ella hates me. She's a drunk, she's a chain smoker, she gambles, and to put that in one word, she's a mess and she blames it all on me. Whenever she looks at me, it's like she's looking at the biggest regret of her life.

Fuck it! I am tired of feeling such excruciating pain.

I took the glass of water and just left without saying goodbye to her. I felt my eyes turn red and I felt them burn. I felt them turn into the harshest shade of red.

Wow. What a way to start the day.

Happy Birthday, Christian!

-page break-

While walking home, Ana and I held hands. Somehow, she's the only one who can make my eighteenth birthday bearable. School's the same: I excel and excel until it's stereotyped that I'm the smartest.

I can say that I am a goal getter. Well, I should be a goal getter. I have so much to prove. One day I will turn so rich that Ella would kneel in front of me.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt Ana kiss the back of my palm. When I looked at her, she grinned, and I can't help but grin back. I palmed her cheek and pressed a light kiss on her left temple.

"I love you, do you know that?"

"Yes, I know that," she smiled sheepishly.

It's pretty weird because even though Ana forgot about my birthday, I can't afford to get mad at her. Birthdays are shit anyway. Why would I care? It's not like if it's my birthday then Ella would stop nagging at me.

We were walking silently, and she didn't know this but I memorize every angle of her face. I know how her eyebrows furrow when she thinks deeply. I know how her lips curl when she concentrates enough. I know her expressions. I know everything about her and I love her . . . but I wish I could give it all.

"Ana," I began.

"Hmm?"

"I am so sorry that I cannot take you out on fancy dinner dates. Hell, I can't even buy a movie ticket for you. It's shit! You deserve all of that and—"

She interrupted me by pressing her lips into mine for a soft kiss. When she pulled away, she cupped my cheeks and told me, "Christian, you are more than enough for me."

I kissed her again. Yes, what she said made my heart flutter and there's this strange feeling inside of me. It's corny shit but the butterflies in my stomach just begin to fly in every direction.

What she said was beyond my happiness, but I know that still, I have to give her everything.

We finally arrived in front of my neighbor, Taylor's house and it's been our daily ritual to spend our afternoons here.

His house is nothing big. In fact, it's just a simple wooden bungalow. Plants are green, and the windows are covered in white curtains. We come here every afternoon to eat the snacks Taylor would prepare for us. We would talk, sing, or just do whatever we feel like. Ana and I almost had sex in this house. But it isn't right. After Taylor has done everything for us, then we should repay him with respect.

But yeah, we're so tempted to do it here.

Ana opened the door and I was surprised at what I saw. It was Taylor standing before the table filled with food and there's even a cake—the very first birthday cake I had. My eyes watered, this was my childhood dream: to have a cake. Finally, I'd get to experience how it feels like to blow a candle on top of a cake.

"Happy Birthday!" Taylor and Ana shouted in unison.

I was still astounded.

"Happy Birthday," she whispered to me before pulling me in for a kiss.

-page break-

The food may seem too much because there's only the three of us, but Ana and I are pretty aggressive eaters. Whenever there's a chance to eat, we really eat. Our dates include eating from the hotdog stand or some cheap diner.

While we're eating, Taylor was fairly quiet. He was poised as he took a bite of the casserole he cooked.

Taylor's a reclusive man. He never shares anything with anyone. When we're together, he's the one who doesn't say much. Not even the town knows about his past. He moved in next door when I was eight years old and ever since, he approached me and offered a helping hand.

I used to work in a convenience store since my mother didn't want to give me anything. Taylor saw how I was struggling, so he urged me to quit my job and he'll take care of my schooling.

It took a lot for me to accept his offer. My pride's too strong, but I had no choice. This way I could do well and concentrate more in school.

Ana's the only one who's noisy. Her wide imagination showed as she guessed about Taylor's past.

"Taylor, why can't you tell us about your past? Let me just guess, okay? Are you a mafia member who decided to change your life? Are mafia people chasing after you? Oh no!"

We laughed at her.

Her eyes flickered the light of a new idea, "Oh, I know! You must be a nomad who wanted to settle down! You explored the wild and you ran with cheetahs, talked to gorillas, became friends with lions—"

"Darling, Taylor's no Tarzan," I told my girlfriend and she became more confused.

Taylor spoke quietly revealing just a small hint about his past, "I was a highly skilled bodyguard. The head even."

"You were?" Both Ana and I were shocked.

"But I couldn't protect the one who mattered most," he said making the atmosphere of the dinner uncomfortable.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. Taylor seemed like he's in pain and not even Ana's jolly self can fix it.

Taylor was the one who changed the atmosphere though. He cleared his throat and brought out two small red envelopes from his pocket. He gave it to each of us.

"My gift," he said with a smile.

"What? I have a gift. Christian's the only one with a birthday here," Ana laughed.

"Yes, but it's the most priceless thing you two can own."

Ana and I opened the envelope at the same time and we were breathless. Taylor was right. This is the most priceless thing we could own. Both Ana and I have copies of the photo Taylor took.

That was a beautiful day. We were in Seattle and out of nowhere, Taylor pointed the camera at us and shot a photo. We just looked so in love here. She was embracing me from behind, both of us were smiling. The background was all flowers and greens.

We were beautiful.

-page break-

_Present Day . . . _

**Atlanta, Georgia**

When I stood before the door to Teddy's hospital room, Ana was standing there already. I can't help but be bewildered about how it all played out.

Here I was, a complete wreck. My tears were newly washed off, but my eyes and skin were too red. I looked like a mess, and here was: strong and resilient. She looked so strong. She looked angry. The bitterness and hatred against me was evident. She crossed her arms and cleared her throat.

"You just walked away again, didn't you?"

"Ana—"

"Once you step into this room, I want you to do this first: assess yourself and see if you want to stay in his life. Are you willing to bear the pain? Are you willing to stay by his side? Are you willing to be his dad?"

Fuck! She made me sound so bad. I almost fought back with the same spiteful tone, but she blocked me.

"Please. When you enter into the room just this once, do not introduce yourself as his father. You don't do that until you're sure that you want to stay with him."

I couldn't say anything at all. I looked away and forced the tears to not come out. I felt so insulted. She's implying that I am not sure if it's my business to stay in my son's life. I turned to look at her and those blue eyes were the coldest ice I've seen.

"Ana," I whispered her name, my throat burning at the two syllables.

"Come inside," she ordered.

Taylor stayed outside while I followed Ana to Teddy's room.

The walls were blindingly white, and the atmosphere was gloomy. This hospital room was shared by two kids, but the next bed was empty. My heart ached at the assumption I made. What if the kid was dead? I shook my head and believed that it's never going to happen with Teddy.

Then my eyes darted to the little boy and I couldn't take my eyes off.

Time stopped. The clock stopped ticking. All that mattered was the boy who sat on his bed. He wore a hospital gown and an IV was stuck on his hand.

As time slowed down, my feet did too. It took so long for me to sit right next to him and gaze closer at this little boy. His eyes were so grey, it reminded me of my own. His face was the mixture of mine and Ana's. I looked at him and he's the product of our love. We created him together and that's when regret stung.

"Teddy, this is Christian, my friend," Ana said with a strong voice but I know her enough to notice the cracks in between.

"Hello," my son smiled, and I just lost it.

Tears fell off my eyes as I realized the depth of what I've done. I wanted him gone even though he has yet to arrive in this world. I despised the idea of him as soon as I found out. And when I realized the wrongness of what I'd done to Ana, I couldn't find him any longer. And I've missed so much from his life. I missed the milestones. I couldn't help but cry. I missed out a lot on the life of the little boy and I cannot go back in time.

Then Teddy leaned forward, and his little thumbs wiped my tears away.

He said tenderly, "Don't cry, Daddy."

That's when Ana and I froze at the same time. I turned to look at Ana and I saw fear in her eyes. My heart thumped when he called me "Daddy" but I agreed with Ana. Although it hurt, I needed to deny.

"Uhm . . . no, I am not—"

That's when his small arms wrapped around my neck and his cheek rested against my shoulder. "I know it's you, Daddy."

"Uhm . . ."

He pulled away from my hug and grabbed a notebook hidden at the bottom of his bed. He opened the notebook and showed me the reason why he knew me.

It was the photo Taylor gave to Ana. It looked like it had been crumpled. There were white lines that wrinkled the paper. And although they looked like a white thread of spiderweb, mine and Ana's faces were still clear as day.

"When I was four, Mommy threw this in the trash, but I picked it up when she fell asleep. I know that you're my Dad."

There's no point to denying it. He already knows. I hugged him as if my life depended on it. I kissed his face time and time again. Repeating, "I love you's and I'm sorry's".

From now on, I'll always be with him.

**From: Jels**

**Teddy knows. He knew all along. Thank you so much for every support you've given.**

**And your thoughts?**

**I say hello to my silent readers!**

**Thankies! **


	6. The Other Man

**Chapter 5**

**The Other Man**

_Eight years ago . . ._

**Spokane, Washington**

Dismissal is my favourite part of the day. Don't get me wrong; I love going to school and I love learning but the joy after the bell rings in the afternoon is eternal. Every day after school, I get to walk with Christian.

Even though the class isn't perfect, I still smile after I hear the bell ring. It means I get to walk home with my boyfriend.

Christian doesn't know this (or he won't admit) but every girl in the school dreams to be his. Who wouldn't fall in love with him? Christian's face resembles an angel and he's tall and smart and . . . I am lucky enough to be his girl. The truth is I don't know why he chose me among other girls.

Speaking of Christian, he's still stuck in some class. That old professor speaks in a torturously dragging pace. Still, nobody wants to exit his class without permission since he is so kind.

I bet Christian's still stuck in that class, so here I am sitting on a bench under the shade of the sycamore tree. He knows I wait for him here. It's quite peaceful: just looking at the wide field before me and watching every clique do its own thing. Sometimes Christian and I would study here. Well, he studies his notes while I study his face.

Yeah, I got it bad. I got it so bad for him.

"Ana?"

I turned around and saw Jose carrying a bouquet of roses. I immediately stood up and I froze at the sight of what he brought me. My eyes went wide. Didn't I confront him about this?

Jose and I got so close because of the school paper. I got blessed enough to be the feature editor and we're always together since he's the photojournalist. We did a bunch of campus coverage together to the point that he developed feelings for me.

Just last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend even though he knew that Christian and I are together. He said he didn't care because he loves me. I just thought that he's so selfish.

Still, I remained nice when I told him that I am in love with Christian and I have no plans to 'un-love' him.

"J-jose, what's—"

He smiled sadly, "Ana, I know you said that you're with Christian but I can't help what I feel so please just accept the flowers."

"Oh, Jose, I can't—"

"All you have to do is accept the flowers and tell me that I have a chance with you."

Is this guy for real?

Then he took a step closer and grabbed my hands and guided them to receive the flowers. Before I could even respond, I heard a booming voice behind me.

"You motherfucking son of a bitch!"

I stood frozen as I watched Christian march his way like a mad man to Jose. He grabbed the flowers forcefully from my hands, slapped it across Jose's face, and pushed him so hard that he lied down the ground. The flowers were destroyed. They were scattered brokenly all around the ground, all around Jose. He looked so mad at Christian.

Christian screamed, "Didn't she say no?! DIDN'T SHE SAY NO TO YOU?!"

Jose didn't respond. Christian almost kicked him but I screamed his name, pulled him away, and held on to calm him down.

"Have some respect to my girl. Have some respect to me. And most of all, have some fucking respect for yourself, you fucker!"

With those words, he grabbed me by my wrist and dragged me to the school's area where no one passed by. It was the corridor of the third floor. At the very corner was the janitor's closet. He pushed me inside and as soon as he locked the door, he pressed my back against the door rather forcefully and kissed me on the lips torridly.

Our lips moved together in a perfectly passionate dance. He doesn't hurt me but I could tell that there's a lot of force with a kiss and the way his hands roamed over my body. I know him so well that I could tell that he's so jealous.

He opened the button of my jeans and pulled them down along with my panties. I breathed heavily as he knelt before me and attacked my clit with his tongue. The way his tongue did it was pure ecstasy. My knees were quivering. I was finding it challenging to stand. I was panting like my life depended on it. This enclosed space of the janitor's closet is hot enough and his kiss down there makes it so much hotter.

His tongue swirled and swirled inside me, lapping every single juice that he could taste. All I did was moan and pull at his hair.

Then his finger entered mine and I was starting to lose it. His tongue worked well with his finger and I came.

"You taste so fucking heavenly, Ana," he breathed huskily before standing up and pressing his open mouth to mine. I tasted myself through him.

I was so exhausted and my legs were about to give up, but I want him so much. I unbuckled his belt and opened his pants, freeing his throbbing cock.

He helped me wrap my legs around his hips. He aligned his tip to my entrance until I felt him fully plunged in. He was in me so fully that I was seeing stars. This was so different compared to all of our sex. Both of his palms were pressed on the door, at both sides of my head. While I met his thrust and held on to him by wrapping my arms around his neck. That's why I can't fall.

Then Christian's fiery eyes met mine. His hair was wet with sweat, face so red, and eyes filled with lust. I pressed my lips to his and the kiss didn't break until both of us came. I felt him spill his seed inside of me.

We slowly slid down the ground. I got off his shaft but still held on to him.

"Ana?"

"Hmmm?"

"Was I too hard on you?"

"Nope. I liked it," I smiled at that and he laughed a little.

"I love you. I love you so much. But the thought of you being with someone else fucking kills me."

"No one else will have me," I assured.

"Not even Jose?" In that moment, he seemed like an anxious child.

I shook my head and tried not to laugh. I assured, "Not even Jose. You're the only one."

I kissed his eyes and it was enough to calm him down.

-page break-

_Present Day . . ._

**Atlanta, Georgia**

I remember that day clearly.

It was a gloomy day. The rain was falling too harshly and everything around me seemed like a black and white filter. I passed by a newsstand and saw that Christian was making out with another girl and his father, Carrick called it true love. I could remember the headline from word to word: Carrick Grey on son's love affair: She's the one

I went home that day and just lost it. I made sure that Teddy was asleep first before I crumbled to the ground and cried. I was a struggling single mother while he's making the world his own and finding the one person for him.

With all that's left of me, I took the strength to open my wallet. Right behind Teddy's ID sized photo was the photo Taylor gave to us on Christian's eighteenth birthday. I cried as I looked at it. I crumpled it with my fist and threw it on the trash.

I just didn't know that Teddy picked it up.

Christian's voice stopped me from my thoughts.

"He knows," he said plainly.

"Yeah," I whispered hoping that it wasn't true. We're sitting down the waiting area as Taylor spent time with my son. I guess he did that because it would be improper for my son to see his mom being so unkind with his dad. Well, Taylor and I have a lot to catch up.

"You crumpled the photo. You threw it on the trash," he said brokenly.

"What did you expect?!" I hissed.

He laughed pathetically, "Of course, it's the right thing to do."

I rolled my eyes and just tell him, "You know what? Christian, just leave, alright? If you want to leave then go! I am not stopping you! Just get out of our lives if you feel like it!"

He looked at me downright offended. He haughtily laughed and shook his head.

"Ana, why the fuck would you do that to me?! Why the fuck would you call me telling me that I have a son and then the next minute you'd ask me to fucking leave you and our son?!"

"He's my son and I'm protecting him—"

He was screaming on top of his lungs that the entire third floor just looked at us, "I AM NOT LEAVING TEDDY! I AM NOT LEAVING HIM!"

I rolled my eyes and finally tears just came out of my eyes. I am just so freaking angry right now. I thought I was doing what's best for my son but I'm just so paranoid now. What if he gets hurt? What if Christian just realizes that he doesn't want Teddy and just wants to leave? Or worst, what if he takes him away from me?!

Before I could even reply, someone arrived and cursed and in one snap, punched Christian on the face and pushed him off the ground.

It was Jose and he looked like he's ready to kill Christian.

There it was: the familiar sight almost a decade ago, but only it was reverse.

Christian was lying on the ground while Jose was looking down at him. The side of Christian's lip bled.

That's when Jose let out the hateful words, "You fucking coward! How could you show up at this time, huh? What did you do when she told you that she's pregnant with Teddy?! You asked her to get rid of the baby!"

I expected Christian to stand up and have a fist fight with Jose. It was so out of character for him to just stay there on the ground and look defeated.

"Do you even know that he's real name is Theodore Raymond Steele? Do you even know that he's turning seven in three days? Do you even know what his first word was? Do you even know what shit Ana had been through when she gave birth? Do you even know how it felt like when he was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed with cancer?! YOU DON'T KNOW! Why are you even here?! How could you call yourself a father? I am Teddy's father."

As he said that, I glared, "Jose, shut up! Just shut up! Just shut your mouth—"

He ignored me when he continued, "You must be happy now that Teddy's got cancer. After all, you wanted him dead when he wasn't even here on earth. I bet it's fun for you to see him this way."

Christian's already angry eyes had reached its boiling point. He stood up and screamed at Jose before he attacked him. They were locked in a fist fight and not even the hospital staff and Taylor can stop them. Taylor tried to stop the fight but these two men were unstoppable.

The chairs were thrown everywhere. Everyone was scared and all I could do was give them a frustrated look and cover my face as I cried. This is too much. This is all too much.

"Christian, Jose, stop it!" I tried but they wouldn't listen. They're bleeding too much now.

"STOP!"

Still nothing.

Then I said those words that made Christian freeze.

"Christian, let go of my fiancee!"

That's when our eyes locked in a gaze. His grey eyes were unreal, frustrated, confused and most of all . . . broken.

**Sorry I haven't updated. I was out of town for a vacation and I didn't bring my laptop with me. **

**Hope you like this. Thankies**


	7. The Blessing is a Curse

**Chapter 6**

**The Blessing is a Curse**

_Eight years ago . . ._

**Spokane, Washington**

The aroma of sex spread across the atmosphere of the room. Christian and I are once again in a motel room. We just made love for three rounds and I loved feeling this way: feeling the tranquil traces of his fingers across my bare back.

After Christian's birthday party at Taylor's, we took the cab all the way here. We just needed each other. I just needed him inside me. I just needed him and him alone.

He wrapped me around his arms and my cheek is pressed against his chest.

I begin to say, "What was your birthday wish?"

"Huh?"

I looked up to him and smiled, "That was your first birthday cake, so it would be very unfair if you didn't make any wish. Now what's your wish?"

He pressed his lips against my forehead and revealed, "I wished to meet my father."

I became silent.

Christian continued, "I just . . . I don't know but I feel like I have to meet him. I feel like I have to get to know him. For so long, I've been wondering about what he's like. Will he love me too? Will he nag at me like Ella? I just . . . I guess I'll be wondering my entire life."

That's when I thought deeply and circled my finger across his chest.

For someone who just turned eighteen years old, Christian spoke like he's just in grade school. He sounded like a child, his eyes glistened, and there was desperate longing in his voice.

He vulnerably said, "I wished to meet him my whole life. Maybe that wish would come true now that I've blown it with a birthday cake."

I didn't say anything. I just kissed both of his eyes and eventually gave a chaste kiss on his lips. I know for sure that I would do whatever it takes to make that wish come true.

-page break-

While Christian's busy with a school project, I secretly met his mother for the first time. He hated his mother so much that he didn't want me to meet her.

That's too late for that now.

I'm sitting on their wooden chair while his mother was eyeing me from head to toe, smoking by the sink. I looked around and everything seemed to be a mess. There was an awful odor and dirt was scattered all around. One of the light bulbs wasn't working and even the window had a crack.

"So, you're the girlfriend, huh? Why'd you like to meet me?"

There was so much hatred in her. There was so much negativity. She's the epitome of the woman I never wanted to be. She's so skinny and she looked as though she hadn't bathed for weeks. She puffed smoke like she was born to do it. I knew right away that she doesn't feel any ounce of love for his son.

I wanted to smack her. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to call her every damn awful word, but that won't get me anything.

I finally replied, "I am here to know about Christian's dad?"

That's when she paused and broke into a hysterical laughter. I was almost scared. She seemed like a nuts crazy woman when she does that.

"You're here to know? I wouldn't even tell that brat about his father so why would I tell you?!"

"Because I know you don't hate me. You hate Christian, that's why you won't tell him."

Ella laughed even louder this time. She said, "I hate Christian?! Damn right, I hate that brat"-she smacked the table and I flinched—"that brat should've been the gateway to my money but damn it! Damn it!"

"What do you mean?" My brows furrowed.

"I was a stripper when I met his father. He's married but he has no kids and he's a vile man and he's just . . . fuck! He was awful! I purposely got myself pregnant by him, so he could give me money. But what did he do? He told me to fuck off when I told him I was pregnant, and he just shoved money at my face."

I was bewildered. My throat went dry and my eyes turned wet. I felt intensely hurt at what she said. This woman was a mother who purposely impregnated herself with that man just to get his money. When he didn't give a damn, she blamed it all on her son.

I cried because of how painful it may be. My Christian didn't deserve any of this.

Still, I tried to be strong, "Where's his father now?"

"He's still a dick."

"Where is he?" I wasn't joking around.

"He's still with his wife, Grace. That doctor? She's a bitch!"

"Where is he?!" I pressed, losing my patience.

"He's in Seattle, Washington, alright? He's there in Seattle, Washington. Living like a fucking lord of the universe. He's Carrick Grey, alright? He's the founder and CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings Incorporated. See? How much money I lost? Why can't that brat look more like his father?"

She took another cigarette and smoked.

I wiped the tears off my eyes and stepped out of their house.

I don't know what the future holds. I don't know whether he'll be a great father to Christian or what. One thing is for sure though: I will make his wish come true.

With all that's left in my pocket, I took the ride that would take me to Seattle. Carrick Grey, wait for me.

-page break-

_Present Day . . ._

**Seattle, Washington**

The flight to Seattle was beyond silent. The medic was there to assist me, and I just let them. I'm too tired to fight now. I closed my eyes and felt the pain. Jose is marrying Ana. Jose was there in every step of Teddy's life. Jose was there when I wasn't.

I couldn't even cry now. All my tears have run dry. There was so much to handle, and I've reached my hardest limit when Ana revealed that Jose is her fiancé. That was the point that I finally break. I had always felt bad about Jose, but I never expected that this would happen.

I never thought she'd marry him.

That thought alone splits my heart into two.

I wanted to yell at him, fight him, and punch him in the gut, but I didn't have the strength. What's my weapon? I wasn't there. I treated her horribly. Do I have any right to get mad?

"What now, Boy?" Taylor asked all of a sudden, his eyes gazing at me like a hawk.

When he asked me what I was going to do next, only two faces came into my mind: Ana and Teddy. I longed to be with them now. Teddy's been suffering, and I promised to come back after I've settled things here in Seattle.

And I know deeply that it tortures Ana to see our son this way. I would be with her in every step of this trial. Even with Jose in the picture, I will not go away. I will not let it happen it again. I've realized I've been selfish for too long. Today I will put my son first.

That's when I answered Taylor, "It's time to withdraw all my money."

It's time to take whatever I have before Carrick blocks them again.

-page break-

With all the strength within me, I managed to look like a human being. Wearing my charcoal shaded suit and tie, my hair completely tame slicked back, and my wrist watch glimmering gold, I met Carrick.

We sat across each other in this Italian restaurant. He invited me over for dinner.

I usually get excited about this, assuming that it's a father and son moment between the two of us. But all we ever talk about is business. He asks me about the funds, the stockholders, and what's the next marketing strategy. He never asks anything about me.

After all these years, I finally faced the truth. I guess it takes too long to face the truth since not all truths are nice, not all facts will make us breathe a sigh of relief, and the honesty is a knife that could pierce us in the gut. But now I'm ready. I'm ready to face the truth that my own father doesn't love me at all.

He formally opened our conversation, "Christian, the shares of the company must be a priority and—"

"I have a son," I said abruptly.

His fork and knife dropped, and he stared at me with such strong gaze. Our eyes were locked together in an angry stare.

Carrick gradually smiled and replied, "You know now, huh?"

That just proved it! That just proves that he knew all along. Anger pulsed through me and I just lost it. I flipped the table and everything above it fell down the floor. Carrick flinched and grimaced at that action.

"Fuck you, Carrick! Fuck you! Teddy? My son! Your own fucking grandson! He is suffering now. He is very ill. What the fuck were you doing, huh? You are so selfish! How can you do this?!"

He remained calm but spiteful, "The company is important and—"

"WHAT?! The company is more important than my own son?! What kind of creature are you?! You are not human, you motherfucker. You are not!"

I was frustrated because he seemed unaffected by every single word I said. He was still calm and collected and he even crossed his arms. He was still businessman mode and I can't help but laugh frustratingly. I was growing more and more frustrated.

"I actually had dinner with you today, so I could present you my offer. Don't worry, even though you behaved so badly, you still deserve my offer. Christian, starting next week I'll endorse you as the new CEO of the company. How does that sound?"

That's what I've always wanted. I was always eager to work since I wanted to prove that even though I haven't reached thirty yet, I can manage to bring the company up on my shoulders. I've long wanted to hear those words slip out of his tongue. I have wanted this, I have wanted this for so long, but only to figure out that this isn't what I wanted most.

Carrick continued, "The whole company will depend on you. The entirety of this business is going to be up to you. You better dedicate your life here. No distractions. No Georgia. No other . . . personal matters."

I was disgusted, "Are you making me choose?"

He didn't have any expression at all, "Yes, Christian. You must choose. Your son or this company?"

I closed my eyes and squeezed it shut before shaking my head and telling him the truth:

"Carrick, I wanted you to love me. I know you never wanted me. I know that you rejected me. When we reunited I was under the impression that you changed your mind about me. The truth is you never loved me. You only took me because you wanted someone to replace you in the company. I was just a commodity, wasn't I? I feel bad, you know. I turned my back on those who were real just to get to you. You aren't even worth it."

He looked me in the eye and hurt was evident. This person who I thought was a blessing became a curse.

"Carrick, guess what? I am not like you. I'll never choose the company over my son. I will always choose Teddy," those were the words I said before stepping out of his sight.

Yes, I made a mistake. Yes, I was wrong, but I am not dwelling on it anymore. It's time to move on and get to the next step—that step is proving that I have changed and that from now on, I will always choose my son.

**Thank you so much guys for patiently waiting for this chapter. I got a new job! Yipee for me! **

**Thankies!**


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